Not Hardcore Unless You Live Hardcore

Helloooooo ladies, I know my posts are becoming few and far between, but the summer is coming so that means that soon, you will not be able to get rid of me. I've got something to say.... 

It was fourth period, I was tired as hell and slightly irritable, and was being forced to endure a dreary English lesson - never a good thing when you are so close yet so far from the end of the week. So you can imagine my immense feeling of "urghhhhh" when my teacher asked me to do her a favour and get some pencils from an upstairs classroom, but nevertheless, I agreed, because I like my English teacher and I'm a helpful sorta gal. Silly me for thinking I'd be back in a minute or less. I knocked on the door and saw a group of around twenty five boys who I recognised to be members of my year group (just about) through the small glass window. I swear, you would think they had never seen a girl in their entire lives. I was greeted by the same amount of wolf-whistles as there were people present, and the teacher on duty told me "boys will be boys". Yes, boys are boys, but why does that mean they can whistle at girls like they are animals? But the thing is, I wasn't scared or intimidated, I just thought it was so pathetic. It actually made me feel pity that they do not have the knowledge of how to communicate with people. But it got me thinking, are we really safe in our own schools/workplaces?

And because I am prone to overthinking things, I overthought, and I was reminded of something that happened to me last week which will probably enrage me to speak about. I was walking through what is generally considered to be a pretty nice area, which I know practically like the back of my hand, in broad daylight despite it being evening (but even so, what does that have to do with anything?) when I was followed, yet again. Two middle-aged men began blowing kisses at me and walking behind me, so I walked faster, and they walked faster, and faster, and faster, until eventually I ran halfway to my destination and ended up at a bus stop, desperate to get away. The bus drove past me when he saw me crying. He drove straight past me as he looked me in the eyes. So I had to call the only person I could rely on to not be a complete prick, when I was so scared my hands were shaking. And I paced back and forth, refusing to stay in one place until he got there in the fear that the two guys would find me again.

This is probably one of the worst experiences I have had, but it is definitely not the only one. A similar thing happened when I was twelve, on my way home from a musical rehearsal. I get cat-called almost everyday on my way home, whilst in my school uniform. And sleazy teenagers from my boyfriend's school just stare, with the occasional whistle. And there is a man who I don't know who puts his arm around me every time he sees me for some reason, and I'm tired of it. But no, I should "take it as a compliment" - who the hell takes 'get your tits out' as a compliment? And as for "boys will be boys" - well boys need to grow the hell up then if it means they have an excuse to practise misogyny in the 21st century. And forty year old men are not boys either. And when things of this sort are reported, it doesn't matter, because it always manages to be your fault. 

"You shouldn't have worn this",

"You shouldn't have gone out at that time",

"You shouldn't walk through that area",

Well why not, because I can't walk through the city I was born in without being harassed? You got it.

But don't let this deter you from dressing how you like, going out and doing things you usually do. Don't let anyone take that away from you. 

The F Word

Guess who's back!! I apologise profusely for my lack of presence, but it's been half-term week and I've had places to go and people (well... person) to see. 

So, Thursday was a *cough* eventful day, which ended with a pen-shaped indent in my finger, a notebook filled with messy scrawlings and a migraine... Worth it. The things we do for you! 

So, being the Cassanova he is, Tom suggested we go to The R Word (The F Word... Get it?) - an anti-racism debate being held at The MAC in Birmingham. In the studio, there was a long table in the middle, with around 20 people seated at it, and a number of chairs surrounding the table for visitors to sit in. The idea of this layout was that during the debate, if you wanted to speak, you would go up to someone who was sitting at the table, tap them on the shoulder and swap places with them. 

I entered the room slightly naïve and blissfully unaware of many social and economic issues others face. However, I did realise that a lot of the discrimination people of ethnic backgrounds receive in this country links in to the abuse women get too. Discrimination is discrimination, regardless of who is on the receiving end of it. Despite the fact I was born in this country, I can't go a week without being called a derogatory term due to my Romany gypsy ancestry or the fact that women are often second class citizens in some aspects of their culture (which may be my family's, but not my own). The result of the discussions were promising, if not a bit full on for a Thursday night, but a lot of it needed to be said. 

One thing I definitely did notice is that people (the younger generation in particular) are told to "just chill out" too often, even though they're trying to make a difference. Why should people sit down, shut up and accept it? Why should people adopt such a sense of 21st Century cynicism, like nothing they do will be of any help? Why are people so passive, are they uneducated as to how to help? Truth is, there's only so much preaching you can do until people stop giving a shit. Young people - future voters - need to take a stand. They need to understand that welcoming people into your world and being generally friendly can be helpful when it comes to dispelling any misconceptions people may have of you. Show them you're better than that. But at the same time, something needs to be done on the larger scale of things. Being nice doesn't always work. 

"There are worse things in the world...", 

"You should take it as a compliment",

"I think you need to chill out".

Why should we take abuse and excuse it? Why should we take it as 'banter?'

Yes, there's having a laugh, but not all of it is an innocent joke. Entertainment often means that people have to give up their morals in order to be socially accepted, humorously appreciated or financially stable. It's the same regardless of which group it is aimed at, whether it's sexist, racist, homophobic etc. 

So how do we make a change? Ladies, gentlemen, I need you to be rebellious and stop rolling around in the pools of hatred you grew up in. Hatred is taught, not inherited. However, hate is so much easier to feel. We need to teach love and tolerance and acceptance before it's too late. Change starts within a community, hostility melts with conversation and education; the end to discrimination will start off small and gradually expand. This blog is my own way of making a small change. With younger people getting involved more-so in politics than possibly ever before, can older people's ideas be challenged - can a leopard ever change it's spots? 

You're a human being before you're a man/woman, and you're a man/woman before you're a member of a race or religion. Be humane. 

Mermaids Against Misogyny

If you haven't heard already, six women were murdered by 22 year old Elliott Rodger in Santa Barbara on Saturday after three of them refused to have sex with him. The three in question were consequently stabbed to death before Rodger went out on the streets and began to shoot at random passers-by. He left a YouTube video describing his humiliation, misogynistic values and (lack of a) sex life, which eventually led to many sympathising with him.

So, the girls seem to be at fault for their deaths, despite the fact that all they did was tell him no? So feminists are stereotyped as man-hating dykes when a misogynist, who kills six women, is labelled as 'mentally ill' and receives an overwhelming amount of sympathy?

As a response, something of a revolt seems to have been established on twitter under the hashtag "#YesAllWomen". On this tag, people (such as myself) have written ways in which they feel discriminated against due to sexism or as result of lack of gender equality. Reading through them, it shows we've still got a hell of a long way to go.... 

Are Men the secret to Equal Rights for Women?

Pre-post note:
One of the many perks of having a wonderful boyfriend, who identifies as a feminist, is that he writes bloody brilliant posts for me just like the one you are about to read. Thank you, Tom. Hopefully, this will be the first of many...

Post:

It is the Wednesday 28^th August 1963, 300,000-strong army of peaceful protesters descend on Washington like a pack of hungry wolves. Marching for jobs, freedom and equality; as well as to hear the tranquil words of the godfather of the Civil Rights movement in the United States, Martin Luther King Jr; among the crowds of expectant people, waiting with baited breath for the speech which would transform America forever. Not just black people who had suffered racism (who still had their shirt stained by the blood of oppression), African-American women and children who still had the scars to show and the nightmares to tell, but white people, who had no experience of racism but felt that it was right and moral to help the cause of black people in America because they saw the injustice of what was going on and decided to take a stand.

What I’m trying to get at is that when it comes to sexism - which I know is very different to that of the civil rights movement in American in the 1960s – feminists (in which I count myself as one despite being a bloke, with a penis, who does stereotypically manly things like watch football and drink Bovril) believe in equality of the sexes, and therefore I am totally unashamed of calling myself a feminist and it does not make me any less a man.

Anyway…back to my original point which I seemed to have deviated from somewhat… I think that in order to create a more equal society for women, what feminist groups need are men. We need more male feminists who firmly believe in the equality of the sexes and are very against the objectification of women, like the white people who supported the black struggle in 1963. I think that way, decision makers/dudes in power (who, because of sexism, are guys) are more likely to listen to blokes compared to female feminists, not because they are not any good but merely because of the sexist culture which society encourages.

Obviously, I could be talking out of my backside (which is a great possibility due to my big arse). I have never been part of a real, organised feminist organisation and I have never been on the receiving end of sexist abuse, if you exclude my father being a male nurse and some of the grief that he got when he first ventured into the nursing possession in the 1980s.

I know as a bloke that due to ‘laddism’ and other ideas which our internet-age culture clings to and watch expand into situations and notions which are clearly sexist. Although it might be a hard and thankless task trying to get testosterone-filled tykes to change their ways, I think it can be done and It would only take a few for a change on how women are viewed in British society.

In short, I’m calling to take the moral high ground and stand up for feminist causes! Ladies, nag your boyfriends to help, otherwise nothing can change…

I hope you have enjoyed reading this little and substandard post compared to the rest of the posts on this fantastic blog. 

THREE THOUSAND VIEWS

I have had this blog since the 15th April, which was just a little over a month ago, and have already received three thousand views - seven hundred of which were in the past forty eight hours. That's insane. 

I'd just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has tweeted me telling me how my blog affected you. Whether you have promoted it (thank you Maz, Eve, Millie and Tom) or even just clicked on a link or read a post. The numbers all add up. 

According to my blog stats, we have reached Australia, America, Russia, Germany, Austria, Italy, France and India amongst others. You have made me so bloody happy. 

Why we still need Feminism

Today, in a last-period cover lesson, our task was to research something we feel strongly about. It's probably not hard to guess what my best friend and I researched.... 

Typing the word "feminism" into the search bar, I had no idea what to expect. Perhaps they'd make feminism out to be a dirty word, perhaps I'd see evidence of the feminist movement being glorified or criticised, perhaps I'd find other amateur bloggers like myself who just need a bit of a rant from time to time. 

I am so relieved to say that the latter was, in fact, predominantly true. Three blogs similar to mine appeared on the first page of my google search, which makes me so imponderably happy! However, as much as I adore the idea of spending my last lesson of half-term reading through anecdotes, queries and complaints so similar to my own, they didn't do much in terms of statistical research. 

So we typed in "feminist facts and stats" (so 'down with the kids', I know) and then my blood really began to boil. 

"As of 2013, children as young as five months old are victims of FGM." 

FGM, the abbreviation for "Female Genital Mutilation" is still a popular practice amongst Jews and Sunni Muslims. The excruciatingly painful - and often deadly - procedure is often completed without aid of anaesthetic, and makes urinating awful and sex impossible. Whilst a lot of victims of FGM are married off prematurely, often between the ages of 9 and 15, "consummating the marriage" can lead to an early grave. 

"26% of people in the UK believe that if she is in public wearing sexy or revealing clothes, a rape victim has only themselves to blame" As I was reading this I screamed 'some people are so bloody stupid!!' I don't know how anyone can possibly say that anyone deserves to be sexually assaulted. Why don't we teach boys from an early age that rape is wrong, rather than teaching girls (and eventually, women) to dress a certain way to avoid being raped? According to a UK report, only one percent of rapes in Great Britain result in conviction; rapists are getting away with destroying the lives of other people, and nothing is being done about it. This has to change. 

"The number of Honour Killings per year is estimated to be over five thousand." 

If you've ever watched the news, read a newspaper or scrolled through any online news platform, you probably know exactly what is meant by the term 'honour killing.' However, if you don't already know, an honour killing is a murder usually conducted by the family of the victim, as a result of an action which could be deemed as dishonourable to their name. Honour killing is usually considered to be a solely Muslim issue, despite the fact that Sikhs, Hindus and Christian honour murders have also been recorded. The 'dishonourable' action in question is usually the over-statement of the century - seeing a boy alone, overusing make up and even swearing on social networking sites have all been supposed reasons for a murder, but the most commonly seen is refusing to elope with your appointed partner in an arranged marriage. Five thousand honour killings take place per year, but that's five thousand too many, 

I found out a lot of things I didn't previously know today, and I also came across a few things I did know, but each fact, figure or statistic I read angers and disappoints me as much as the others. People may believe that gender equality was achieved in 1918, with the end of the Women's Suffrage, but it's clear to see that there's still a long way to go, not just in the UK but across the world. 

L-A-D

Just when I thought I was running out of things to complain about (never gonna happen, kids), my lovely boyfriend reminded me of something that pisses a hell of a lot of people off.

"Laddism" 

The 'new lad' is described by Tim Edwards, a sociologist at the University of Leicester as a "reaction to second-wave feminism". Their general lack of respect towards others, particularly women, is often featured in newspapers and causes controversy amongst men and women alike. 

One writer described lad culture as a practice in which "lads took up an anti-intellectual position, scorning sensitivity and caring in favour of drinking, violence, and a pre-feminist and racist attitude to women as both sex objects and creatures from another species".

Although most men's magazines refer to typically 'manly' interests - cars, booze and women (Kira Cochran said that "it's a dark world that 'Loaded' and the lad culture has bequeathed us.) -when will boys stop being boys? When do naïve teenagers become pervy men, and what's the barrier between harmless Jack the Lad-style behaviour and taking it too far? 

Lad culture seems to dominate social media nowadays, with twitter pages like the LADbible, and copy cat pages, having up to 880,000 followers each. Tweets containing jokes about rape, derogatory terms for women and general narcissism appear on people's timelines everyday, and yes, they may be 'innocent jokes' but they are offensive more often than not. 

Of course, it's fine to have a joke, but sometimes jokes aren't funny. Stop saying "boys will be boys" and teach those boys to respect other people, and themselves. 

I have a feeling this post will be continued, but until then....