#WomenAgainstFeminism

Hiya lovelies, so there's this thing going on over on twitter called #WomenAgainstFeminism and I have a few things to say about it. Having clicked on it (I knew I shouldn't have, I just get too damn angry), some of the things people are saying have really boiled my blood. Not only is feminism being described as unnecessary, - something I have already talked about in previous blog posts and undoubtedly will again - it is also being hailed as something only to be believed in by women who are riddled with personal insecurities. 

Let's just get one thing straight (once again): Feminism is not female supremacy, it is equal gender rights. It is not about dehumanising men, it is not about hating men and it is not about thinking women are superior, it is simply about being equal in all aspects of society. Many women featured on the #WomenAgainstFeminism tag are unbelievably unaware of this. 

Secondly, without feminism, the women using the hashtag would not have the opportunity to express their dislike towards it. These women surely have jobs and the right to vote, so why not be on your own side? Who wants to be victimised and discriminated against? I'm not saying every woman in the world falls victim to sexism, but that doesn't mean that sexism doesn't exist. Even if you personally have never experienced it, that does not mean it is not an issue that needs to be addressed. 

So, ladies and gents, we are bitter, angry and immature...HA! Yes, we're angry, but we're not bitter if we're trying to do something about it and we're certainly not immature, and when I was trying to explain this to a certain someone who responded to my tweet (shameless self-promotion there, by the way), they seemed to be quite stubborn, until they eventually stopped replying altogether. I guess they had nothing left to say, huh. Don't get me wrong, I have received a tonne of shit because of this blog and some 'controversial' tweets and speeches and opinions, but I will not stop doing what I'm doing. I have experienced sexism, as have my friends and my family and acquaintances, and it is clear to see that women and men globally witness/are victimised daily and it's not right. I do not understand why we still need to campaign for feminism, after all, it is the 21st century, surely all that should be over by now, but until it is over (or until I die, whichever comes first) I will not stop. 

Happy Birthday, Emmeline

Today is the 15th July. As it's Emmeline Pankhurst's birthday, I thought I'd return to the blog I seem to have abandoned as of late and sing her praises. After all, she is a bad ass lady. Sorry for leaving you, you know my reasons...

So I did a wee bit of research (and by a wee bit, I mean I spent far too long in Birmingham Central Library, in a chair I was too small for, elbow in the air, scrawling in my notebook. Let's just say my handwriting is hardly legible). Naturally, I was wandering around the politics section (quelle surprise) and I noticed the glorious name of Emmeline Pankhurst plastered on a book my eyes skimmed across. Within minutes, I'd read ten pages and written three pages of notes on things I already knew but I thought would be interesting to share. So here's what I've got: 

Emmeline Pankhurst - 

"A traitor to her sex", "an idiosyncratic mixture of feminine charm and political guile", with a professional façade of femininity, whilst at the same time, a habit of breaking every known standard of 'acceptable female conduct' - A cotton wool woman with an iron determination. Her big ideas remained constant despite her tendency to switch between British political parties during her career. Not unlike the 21st Century situation, many found it difficult to reconcile beauty with intelligence. It was believed that women were seldom anything other than pretty and empty-headed or clever and ugly. However, contemporary newspaper, Saturday Night, reported on their assumptions of Pankhurst prior to an interview with her - "I imagined a hatchet-faced old dame, with her hat on an angle of forty-five degrees. Instead of these, I found a lady, singularly attractive in appearance, graceful in carriage, dignified in bearing and a public speaker or culture as well as force." Emmeline Pankhurst proved to women that they can have it all if they so wish. That they have the ability to be passionate and militant leaders, both politically and in their everyday lives. Yes, this was a century ago, but both female and male feminists are still finding it difficult to be heard and listened to. Today is her 156th birthday, and yet she still continues to inspire feminists across the world to maintain their determination. We've had a female Prime Minister (no matter how successful you believe Mrs Thatcher was, this is not the time nor the place to say so), and many have persevered in their quest for equal rights through organised protests, similar to those of the original Victorian to Post-War feminists. Happy Birthday, Emmeline Pankhurst. 

Pretty, Pink and Pissed Off

I have pink glasses, I wear flowery mini-skirts and I have an unexplainable obsession with anything silver and sparkly (particularly with a pair of shoes my boyfriend hates.) I'm an extremely girly girl, so what? Well, something took me by surprise today. "That's not very feminist of you, is it?" The people who said this will probably read this at some point, so if you are, this is just to clarify a few things for you. 

So apparently, because I'm a feminist, I'm not allowed to like stereotypically "girly" things. And, because I'm a girl, I'm not allowed to like stereotypically "boy-ish" things. So... What am I allowed to like? It seems that everyday lately, the encouragement regarding this blog has been put on pause and the ridicule has well and truly begun. I have received the most ridiculous "insults" ever, some of them pathetic and poor, some of them too close for comfort. It's gotten personal - someone even suggested that the only reason I'm a feminist is because my father is not around, and that I have used that as an excuse to create a secret "prejudice against men." All of which, you know, is untrue. All I'm trying to do is make a difference, help a few people out maybe, and express my feelings safely. What's so wrong with that? 

And as for the "what about men's rights?" thing, feminism is the belief in equality of the sexes, not female supremacy. I have said this countless times but because of the 'fem' part of the word, I get stupid responses such as "I'm going to become a male-ist", which is contradictory as it is, considering feminism is working for men too. 

By the way, saying "you're such a feminist" is not an insult, because I am one. It says so at the top of this blog. It says so in my twitter bio. I am a feminist and I am proud, hence why my only response to you is "yes, yes I am."

I just don't understand what the problem is. I'm not hurting anyone, I'm not campaigning for something morally wrong, and I'm not using this blog to get back at my ex-boyfriend as someone suggested. This world needs changing and I'm trying to do my bit to help, so it would be greatly appreciated if it wasn't made difficult for me to do so. 

Thanks for reading. 

Not Hardcore Unless You Live Hardcore

Helloooooo ladies, I know my posts are becoming few and far between, but the summer is coming so that means that soon, you will not be able to get rid of me. I've got something to say.... 

It was fourth period, I was tired as hell and slightly irritable, and was being forced to endure a dreary English lesson - never a good thing when you are so close yet so far from the end of the week. So you can imagine my immense feeling of "urghhhhh" when my teacher asked me to do her a favour and get some pencils from an upstairs classroom, but nevertheless, I agreed, because I like my English teacher and I'm a helpful sorta gal. Silly me for thinking I'd be back in a minute or less. I knocked on the door and saw a group of around twenty five boys who I recognised to be members of my year group (just about) through the small glass window. I swear, you would think they had never seen a girl in their entire lives. I was greeted by the same amount of wolf-whistles as there were people present, and the teacher on duty told me "boys will be boys". Yes, boys are boys, but why does that mean they can whistle at girls like they are animals? But the thing is, I wasn't scared or intimidated, I just thought it was so pathetic. It actually made me feel pity that they do not have the knowledge of how to communicate with people. But it got me thinking, are we really safe in our own schools/workplaces?

And because I am prone to overthinking things, I overthought, and I was reminded of something that happened to me last week which will probably enrage me to speak about. I was walking through what is generally considered to be a pretty nice area, which I know practically like the back of my hand, in broad daylight despite it being evening (but even so, what does that have to do with anything?) when I was followed, yet again. Two middle-aged men began blowing kisses at me and walking behind me, so I walked faster, and they walked faster, and faster, and faster, until eventually I ran halfway to my destination and ended up at a bus stop, desperate to get away. The bus drove past me when he saw me crying. He drove straight past me as he looked me in the eyes. So I had to call the only person I could rely on to not be a complete prick, when I was so scared my hands were shaking. And I paced back and forth, refusing to stay in one place until he got there in the fear that the two guys would find me again.

This is probably one of the worst experiences I have had, but it is definitely not the only one. A similar thing happened when I was twelve, on my way home from a musical rehearsal. I get cat-called almost everyday on my way home, whilst in my school uniform. And sleazy teenagers from my boyfriend's school just stare, with the occasional whistle. And there is a man who I don't know who puts his arm around me every time he sees me for some reason, and I'm tired of it. But no, I should "take it as a compliment" - who the hell takes 'get your tits out' as a compliment? And as for "boys will be boys" - well boys need to grow the hell up then if it means they have an excuse to practise misogyny in the 21st century. And forty year old men are not boys either. And when things of this sort are reported, it doesn't matter, because it always manages to be your fault. 

"You shouldn't have worn this",

"You shouldn't have gone out at that time",

"You shouldn't walk through that area",

Well why not, because I can't walk through the city I was born in without being harassed? You got it.

But don't let this deter you from dressing how you like, going out and doing things you usually do. Don't let anyone take that away from you. 

The F Word

Guess who's back!! I apologise profusely for my lack of presence, but it's been half-term week and I've had places to go and people (well... person) to see. 

So, Thursday was a *cough* eventful day, which ended with a pen-shaped indent in my finger, a notebook filled with messy scrawlings and a migraine... Worth it. The things we do for you! 

So, being the Cassanova he is, Tom suggested we go to The R Word (The F Word... Get it?) - an anti-racism debate being held at The MAC in Birmingham. In the studio, there was a long table in the middle, with around 20 people seated at it, and a number of chairs surrounding the table for visitors to sit in. The idea of this layout was that during the debate, if you wanted to speak, you would go up to someone who was sitting at the table, tap them on the shoulder and swap places with them. 

I entered the room slightly naïve and blissfully unaware of many social and economic issues others face. However, I did realise that a lot of the discrimination people of ethnic backgrounds receive in this country links in to the abuse women get too. Discrimination is discrimination, regardless of who is on the receiving end of it. Despite the fact I was born in this country, I can't go a week without being called a derogatory term due to my Romany gypsy ancestry or the fact that women are often second class citizens in some aspects of their culture (which may be my family's, but not my own). The result of the discussions were promising, if not a bit full on for a Thursday night, but a lot of it needed to be said. 

One thing I definitely did notice is that people (the younger generation in particular) are told to "just chill out" too often, even though they're trying to make a difference. Why should people sit down, shut up and accept it? Why should people adopt such a sense of 21st Century cynicism, like nothing they do will be of any help? Why are people so passive, are they uneducated as to how to help? Truth is, there's only so much preaching you can do until people stop giving a shit. Young people - future voters - need to take a stand. They need to understand that welcoming people into your world and being generally friendly can be helpful when it comes to dispelling any misconceptions people may have of you. Show them you're better than that. But at the same time, something needs to be done on the larger scale of things. Being nice doesn't always work. 

"There are worse things in the world...", 

"You should take it as a compliment",

"I think you need to chill out".

Why should we take abuse and excuse it? Why should we take it as 'banter?'

Yes, there's having a laugh, but not all of it is an innocent joke. Entertainment often means that people have to give up their morals in order to be socially accepted, humorously appreciated or financially stable. It's the same regardless of which group it is aimed at, whether it's sexist, racist, homophobic etc. 

So how do we make a change? Ladies, gentlemen, I need you to be rebellious and stop rolling around in the pools of hatred you grew up in. Hatred is taught, not inherited. However, hate is so much easier to feel. We need to teach love and tolerance and acceptance before it's too late. Change starts within a community, hostility melts with conversation and education; the end to discrimination will start off small and gradually expand. This blog is my own way of making a small change. With younger people getting involved more-so in politics than possibly ever before, can older people's ideas be challenged - can a leopard ever change it's spots? 

You're a human being before you're a man/woman, and you're a man/woman before you're a member of a race or religion. Be humane. 

Mermaids Against Misogyny

If you haven't heard already, six women were murdered by 22 year old Elliott Rodger in Santa Barbara on Saturday after three of them refused to have sex with him. The three in question were consequently stabbed to death before Rodger went out on the streets and began to shoot at random passers-by. He left a YouTube video describing his humiliation, misogynistic values and (lack of a) sex life, which eventually led to many sympathising with him.

So, the girls seem to be at fault for their deaths, despite the fact that all they did was tell him no? So feminists are stereotyped as man-hating dykes when a misogynist, who kills six women, is labelled as 'mentally ill' and receives an overwhelming amount of sympathy?

As a response, something of a revolt seems to have been established on twitter under the hashtag "#YesAllWomen". On this tag, people (such as myself) have written ways in which they feel discriminated against due to sexism or as result of lack of gender equality. Reading through them, it shows we've still got a hell of a long way to go.... 

Are Men the secret to Equal Rights for Women?

Pre-post note:
One of the many perks of having a wonderful boyfriend, who identifies as a feminist, is that he writes bloody brilliant posts for me just like the one you are about to read. Thank you, Tom. Hopefully, this will be the first of many...

Post:

It is the Wednesday 28^th August 1963, 300,000-strong army of peaceful protesters descend on Washington like a pack of hungry wolves. Marching for jobs, freedom and equality; as well as to hear the tranquil words of the godfather of the Civil Rights movement in the United States, Martin Luther King Jr; among the crowds of expectant people, waiting with baited breath for the speech which would transform America forever. Not just black people who had suffered racism (who still had their shirt stained by the blood of oppression), African-American women and children who still had the scars to show and the nightmares to tell, but white people, who had no experience of racism but felt that it was right and moral to help the cause of black people in America because they saw the injustice of what was going on and decided to take a stand.

What I’m trying to get at is that when it comes to sexism - which I know is very different to that of the civil rights movement in American in the 1960s – feminists (in which I count myself as one despite being a bloke, with a penis, who does stereotypically manly things like watch football and drink Bovril) believe in equality of the sexes, and therefore I am totally unashamed of calling myself a feminist and it does not make me any less a man.

Anyway…back to my original point which I seemed to have deviated from somewhat… I think that in order to create a more equal society for women, what feminist groups need are men. We need more male feminists who firmly believe in the equality of the sexes and are very against the objectification of women, like the white people who supported the black struggle in 1963. I think that way, decision makers/dudes in power (who, because of sexism, are guys) are more likely to listen to blokes compared to female feminists, not because they are not any good but merely because of the sexist culture which society encourages.

Obviously, I could be talking out of my backside (which is a great possibility due to my big arse). I have never been part of a real, organised feminist organisation and I have never been on the receiving end of sexist abuse, if you exclude my father being a male nurse and some of the grief that he got when he first ventured into the nursing possession in the 1980s.

I know as a bloke that due to ‘laddism’ and other ideas which our internet-age culture clings to and watch expand into situations and notions which are clearly sexist. Although it might be a hard and thankless task trying to get testosterone-filled tykes to change their ways, I think it can be done and It would only take a few for a change on how women are viewed in British society.

In short, I’m calling to take the moral high ground and stand up for feminist causes! Ladies, nag your boyfriends to help, otherwise nothing can change…

I hope you have enjoyed reading this little and substandard post compared to the rest of the posts on this fantastic blog.