Not Hardcore Unless You Live Hardcore

Helloooooo ladies, I know my posts are becoming few and far between, but the summer is coming so that means that soon, you will not be able to get rid of me. I've got something to say.... 

It was fourth period, I was tired as hell and slightly irritable, and was being forced to endure a dreary English lesson - never a good thing when you are so close yet so far from the end of the week. So you can imagine my immense feeling of "urghhhhh" when my teacher asked me to do her a favour and get some pencils from an upstairs classroom, but nevertheless, I agreed, because I like my English teacher and I'm a helpful sorta gal. Silly me for thinking I'd be back in a minute or less. I knocked on the door and saw a group of around twenty five boys who I recognised to be members of my year group (just about) through the small glass window. I swear, you would think they had never seen a girl in their entire lives. I was greeted by the same amount of wolf-whistles as there were people present, and the teacher on duty told me "boys will be boys". Yes, boys are boys, but why does that mean they can whistle at girls like they are animals? But the thing is, I wasn't scared or intimidated, I just thought it was so pathetic. It actually made me feel pity that they do not have the knowledge of how to communicate with people. But it got me thinking, are we really safe in our own schools/workplaces?

And because I am prone to overthinking things, I overthought, and I was reminded of something that happened to me last week which will probably enrage me to speak about. I was walking through what is generally considered to be a pretty nice area, which I know practically like the back of my hand, in broad daylight despite it being evening (but even so, what does that have to do with anything?) when I was followed, yet again. Two middle-aged men began blowing kisses at me and walking behind me, so I walked faster, and they walked faster, and faster, and faster, until eventually I ran halfway to my destination and ended up at a bus stop, desperate to get away. The bus drove past me when he saw me crying. He drove straight past me as he looked me in the eyes. So I had to call the only person I could rely on to not be a complete prick, when I was so scared my hands were shaking. And I paced back and forth, refusing to stay in one place until he got there in the fear that the two guys would find me again.

This is probably one of the worst experiences I have had, but it is definitely not the only one. A similar thing happened when I was twelve, on my way home from a musical rehearsal. I get cat-called almost everyday on my way home, whilst in my school uniform. And sleazy teenagers from my boyfriend's school just stare, with the occasional whistle. And there is a man who I don't know who puts his arm around me every time he sees me for some reason, and I'm tired of it. But no, I should "take it as a compliment" - who the hell takes 'get your tits out' as a compliment? And as for "boys will be boys" - well boys need to grow the hell up then if it means they have an excuse to practise misogyny in the 21st century. And forty year old men are not boys either. And when things of this sort are reported, it doesn't matter, because it always manages to be your fault. 

"You shouldn't have worn this",

"You shouldn't have gone out at that time",

"You shouldn't walk through that area",

Well why not, because I can't walk through the city I was born in without being harassed? You got it.

But don't let this deter you from dressing how you like, going out and doing things you usually do. Don't let anyone take that away from you. 

The F Word

Guess who's back!! I apologise profusely for my lack of presence, but it's been half-term week and I've had places to go and people (well... person) to see. 

So, Thursday was a *cough* eventful day, which ended with a pen-shaped indent in my finger, a notebook filled with messy scrawlings and a migraine... Worth it. The things we do for you! 

So, being the Cassanova he is, Tom suggested we go to The R Word (The F Word... Get it?) - an anti-racism debate being held at The MAC in Birmingham. In the studio, there was a long table in the middle, with around 20 people seated at it, and a number of chairs surrounding the table for visitors to sit in. The idea of this layout was that during the debate, if you wanted to speak, you would go up to someone who was sitting at the table, tap them on the shoulder and swap places with them. 

I entered the room slightly naïve and blissfully unaware of many social and economic issues others face. However, I did realise that a lot of the discrimination people of ethnic backgrounds receive in this country links in to the abuse women get too. Discrimination is discrimination, regardless of who is on the receiving end of it. Despite the fact I was born in this country, I can't go a week without being called a derogatory term due to my Romany gypsy ancestry or the fact that women are often second class citizens in some aspects of their culture (which may be my family's, but not my own). The result of the discussions were promising, if not a bit full on for a Thursday night, but a lot of it needed to be said. 

One thing I definitely did notice is that people (the younger generation in particular) are told to "just chill out" too often, even though they're trying to make a difference. Why should people sit down, shut up and accept it? Why should people adopt such a sense of 21st Century cynicism, like nothing they do will be of any help? Why are people so passive, are they uneducated as to how to help? Truth is, there's only so much preaching you can do until people stop giving a shit. Young people - future voters - need to take a stand. They need to understand that welcoming people into your world and being generally friendly can be helpful when it comes to dispelling any misconceptions people may have of you. Show them you're better than that. But at the same time, something needs to be done on the larger scale of things. Being nice doesn't always work. 

"There are worse things in the world...", 

"You should take it as a compliment",

"I think you need to chill out".

Why should we take abuse and excuse it? Why should we take it as 'banter?'

Yes, there's having a laugh, but not all of it is an innocent joke. Entertainment often means that people have to give up their morals in order to be socially accepted, humorously appreciated or financially stable. It's the same regardless of which group it is aimed at, whether it's sexist, racist, homophobic etc. 

So how do we make a change? Ladies, gentlemen, I need you to be rebellious and stop rolling around in the pools of hatred you grew up in. Hatred is taught, not inherited. However, hate is so much easier to feel. We need to teach love and tolerance and acceptance before it's too late. Change starts within a community, hostility melts with conversation and education; the end to discrimination will start off small and gradually expand. This blog is my own way of making a small change. With younger people getting involved more-so in politics than possibly ever before, can older people's ideas be challenged - can a leopard ever change it's spots? 

You're a human being before you're a man/woman, and you're a man/woman before you're a member of a race or religion. Be humane.