"Femmephobia"

For your average member of the male species, being called a 'pussy' or being compared to a girl is THE ultimate insult. But why is the idea of a male with a feminine side so unacceptable, when increasing numbers of women are making a tastefully masculine statement in a male-dominated world? 

Since when was it okay for women to wear men's clothes, but completely wrong for a man to be feminine? Since when was it okay for a woman to build her muscle strength but not for a man to get a manicure? It's okay for a man to leave body hair as it is, but women must mutilate their bodies and remove it? As long as no one is being harmed by it, surely anyone should be able to do what they like and make their own decisions. 

The dislike towards the idea of a man practicing pastimes commonly seen as feminine is known as "femmephobia", but in my opinion, it's less of a phobia and more of a side effect of a closed mind. Unfortunately, in today's society, many have the belief that if they don't agree with something, no one else is allowed to either. Femmephobia, homophobia, sexism, racism and other methods of discrimination stem from this belief, forcing people who simply want to live their lives to do so in fear of prejudice. To cut a long story short, if a man wants to act/look like a woman or if a woman wants to act/look like a man, just leave them to it. A lack of an open mind is closing the doors to an evolved, educated and peaceful society, so why discriminate against people who are doing no harm?

Less self-loathing, more self-loving?

After Jameela Jamil's column about giving up thinking, saying and listening to any negative comments about herself, many avid Jameela readers decided that they, too, would start allowing themselves  a bit more mental TLC. I was one of them. I knew that refraining from any kind of self-criticism for a whole forty days would be difficult, but I did not expect it to be THAT hard. 

However, the next time I walked past a mirror, my immediate response was "Oh for Christ's sake." Without even realising it, I was already straightening my school tie, fixing my hair and checking my eyeliner for smudges. When your reaction to your own reflection has been the same since any given point in your childhood, self-disgust is definitely involuntary. Even my seven year old sister sucks in her stomach and refuses point-blank to show her gappy teeth in photographs. Seven year old girls should not feel the need to improve their appearance at such a tender age, and yet recent studies conclude that from the age of six, girls in particular acquire a desire to lose weight and improve their appearance. My sister is beautiful, so it's difficult for me to digest that she has low-self esteem when she is so young and so supposedly naive. 

In a matter of twenty minutes, I had already broken my Lenten promise (Sorry Jesus) - maybe I should have just stuck to the normal promises of giving up chocolate or junk food. But instead of abandoning my promise completely, I decided to adapt it. Rather than giving up my negative feelings towards myself immediately - a task many people know is impossible to complete overnight - I would just focus a bit more on things I like about myself. Instead of brushing compliments off and regarding them as lies, for once I'm listening, albeit rather awkwardly. I've never been one for accepting compliments so I never know how to respond to them whilst my compliment-er is standing in front of me, waiting for any sign of life. 

From this moment onwards, remind yourself of one thing you like when you see your reflection. There's nothing wrong with a bit of vanity as long as it doesn't get in the way of relationships, so if you see something you like, embrace it!! (Yes, the two exclamation marks were definitely necessary) Stop poking and prodding parts of your body you'd rather be rid of and accept the fact that there are people who would kill for eyes/legs/arms/hair/*health* like yours, so why waste it? 

I'm a bit of a hypocrite, as I'M the one who broke their Lenten promise, but I'm trying, and it's working, I promise. That's one promise I can keep. 

American Apparel: Can Nudity Advertise Clothing?

It is clear to see that in the world of advertising, sex is everywhere you look. Perfume advertisements with half naked men and women, Calvin Klein adverts with perfectly sculpted (and heavily photoshopped) men in just their underwear. Even shampoo advertisers felt the need to have a 30-second long clip of Nicole Sherzinger screaming provocatively in an airplane toilet as one of their television commercials. However, the most notorious, scandalous and *sexist* of them all is undeniably American Apparel. Public billboards of completely naked women (or girls, as they seem to be most of the time) are displayed with the signature logo "that's American Apparel", causing outrage amongst feminists, parents and the general public alike. So this leads me onto the question - American Apparel, can nudity advertise clothing? 

Not only do adverts such as these make women even more prone to sexual assault - notice the graffiti "Gee, I wonder why women get raped" on the billboard - but is publicly displaying a photograph of a naked woman completely necessary when advertising clothing? Surely to broadcast to the masses how fantastic your product is and how they should buy it, your advertisements should show the models you've hired actually wearing it? And to be brutally honest, I can safely say I don't know many girls who walk around wearing nothing but a pair of socks, even if they are as unrealistically perfect as the AA girls are.

Dov Charney, CEO of American Apparel has been the subject of numerous sexual assault accusations since the store first opened in 1998. Not only does he objectify the girls he uses on his commercials, he has physically assaulted some of them too. A man like this should not be left in charge of a business which caters to such a substantial number of young girls. Especially when he so publicly displays his opinions towards women and how men should refer to them. 

American Apparel seem to advertise a lot more than just their clothing, they advertise the oversexualised stigma attached to it. Many people - feminist or not - would agree with me when I say that the methods AA use cause more harm, and controversy, than good. Perhaps it's to shock people into purchasing their products (after all, any publicity is good publicity, right?) or perhaps customers are attracted to the thought of being 'sexy' and 'empowered' like the girls they see on the adverts. But whatever it is, is the nudity and obvious objectification necessary? 

The fact that the same shirt has been advertised in two completely different ways - the male version as how your average high street brand would display their product, and with the female version  encouraging that it is necessary and acceptable for the girl's shirt to be wide open - it is blatant that in the eyes of American Apparel, the men take control. The advertisement in which the man is standing up and pushing an unseen girl's legs open is used to advertise what I'm guessing is the man's suit, as well as the idea that with that suit you will be mimicking not only his clothing but his actions. I'm not saying people are idiotic enough to believe that as soon as they buy a product from American Apparel they will become irresistible to the opposite sex, but if you were given the opportunity to be perfect would you take it? 

To cut a long story short, American Apparel objectifies women, glorifies men and preys on innocent members of the general public who they con into thinking that this is acceptable. Open legs should never be a metaphor for an open shop. Nudity is not only pointless when trying to advertise clothing (naked is the polar opposite of clothed, who thought that would be a good idea?) but it is unnecessary, unwarranted and unwanted by most. Not everyone wishes to see a billboard displaying a naked girl everytime they pass a certain area, so - American Apparel, I don't know about other people, but nudity cannot advertise clothing to me. 

Feminist, not Femi-Nazi

In the ever-changing, ever-growing world of 21st Century feminists, a lot of their ideas are misunderstood by the rest of society. Seeing as mankind is supposed to be the most superior, most intelligent specimen of life the world has to offer, it is difficult to see how so many people could treat other human beings as 'different.' No doubt many of you who read this blog among others do not feel a need for 'feminism' in this day and age, but when sick comments such as the ones below are still being shamelessly passed around on social media, where millions of people have access to them, it is clear to see we still have a long way to go. 

Just because women in this country are allowed to vote, that does not mean the UK is completely equal.

Some common misconceptions about Feminism

1. Feminists are all 'dykes' who burn their bras and refuse to shave.
I don't know about you, but I'd class hair removal (or a preference not to go through the pain of it) as a personal issue based on appearance, not based on whether or not you believe in the equality of  the sexes. And as for burning bras, why would a woman deny herself of essential comfort? The idea that women mutilate their bodies with razors and make up simply to please a member of the opposite sex is - to be quite frank - bullshit. Everyone can be selfish once in a while, and I personally use make up and shave my legs for my own personal satisfaction with my appearance, not for my boyfriend and not to attract anyone. 

2. Feminism is female supremacy, not equality.
According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of feminism is as follows: "The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes." For this reason, it confuses me how a mission to equalise males and females alike has been misinterpreted as a battle for female dominance in what is currently a predominantly male-dominated society. If feminists hated men, how would we achieve equality?

3. Feminists are aggressive, disruptive and overbearing.
Although some go further than others, I don't think there'd be any point in being a feminist - or a member of any kind of equal rights movement for that matter - unless you vehemently agree with it. Many have a strong passion towards helping others, women in this case, but there are always a few who spend 24 hours a day angry and bitter because not everyone believes in what they believe. To them I would simply say, keep trying to persuade others' opinions but don't change it by force. I have always resented the idea of one person or a group of people ramming their ideas down other people's throats, a practice I seem to have been on the receiving end of on numerous occasions in my life, as have many of you, no doubt. Forcing my beliefs onto other people when I hate it so much myself would make me a hypocrite. 

4. Only women can identify as feminists.
Although I'd say it surprises me more when women say they do not believe in feminism (who would want to be classed as inferior after all?), we are certainly not a female-only, exclusive movement. If you believe that men and women should be economically, politically and socially equal, guess what, you're a feminist. A large number of males in this country join the fight for equality everyday, and most of my male friends consider themselves to be feminists. When asked if they identify as a feminist, a friend of mine said, "I think sexism is wrong and that all genders are equal. That should be reflected in all areas of society." Forgive me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't sound to me like an answer from a person who restricts himself from an organisation considered to be female-only.

Although there are many more misconceptions, those are probably among a few of the most common (and most confusing) ones I hear everyday. When a person says they are a feminist, they should not be ridiculed and laughed at, nor should they be shied away from or regarded as men-haters. We may have come a long way since the days of the fight for suffrage, but it's not even close to being over yet.