Rules 4 Girls

Ladies, do you ever find yourself tossing and turning in bed at night, unable to sleep due to the crippling anxiety you have towards the notion of not being perceived as a ‘real woman’ by misogynists? No, me neither. Gentlemen, does the thought of a girl not mutilating their bodies with razor blades in an attempt to remove the same hair you have in the same places make you want to gag? No? Still, have no fear because the people of Twitter (yes… again) have simplified womanhood into a few concise rules that every member of the female species must follow. NOTE: These are all quoted directly from the account.

Rule Number One: “Don’t dress like a slut if you don’t wanna be perceived as a slut #keepitclassy”

Don’t you dare dress how you want to dress, and don’t even think of crafting your appearance for anyone but the men you are undoubtedly attempting to seduce! With the definition of slut being someone who has sex with multiple different people, might it be possible that a woman could be desirable and sensual? Be careful, you wouldn’t want people to think you get laid often! Or, instead of abiding to this ridiculous and offensive ‘rule’, you could wear whatever the hell you want and dress in a way that makes you love yourself? If you want to cover every inch of skin you have, go for it, that’s fine. However, remember that if you want to wear something slightly more revealing then that is equally fine. Dress to impress whomever you want, but dress to make yourself feel comfortable and confident – prioritise yourself.

Rule Number Two: “Don’t ever say ‘Hi’ to a guy first.”

Always remind yourself that it’s vital that you continue the segregation of the sexes in our society. Don’t speak unless spoken to, seen and not heard… etc. Whilst doing so, you must blame yourself for the ‘friendzone’/being seen as rude/being seen as cocky, conceited or stuck up, despite the fact that you are being instructed to ignore your male friends and colleagues. Remember, you’re a stern, cold-hearted bitch, and it’s your own fault, not that of the people restricting you from interacting with others! On the other hand, you could always decide to ‘rebel’ and speak to who you like, when you like, if you like. After all, you don’t owe anyone your time or your thought, but if you want to give it to them then you have every right to.

Rule Number Three: “Shave.”

If you do not take this sharp object – which is often used as a murder weapon – to your skin and remove the hair that naturally grows, and re-grows, and re-grows, then you cannot be a ‘real woman’. If you do not deny yourself the right to possess the same bodily feature as your male counterparts, then you cannot be a ‘real woman’. If you think for a second that ditching the razor and embracing the hair is A-Okay then you cannot be a ‘real woman’. However, if you’re not a fan of razor rash, and you’d rather not walk out of the door with plasters covering your scabby knees, there is always another option… just don’t shave? Don’t get me wrong, if, like me, you prefer to get rid of hair for personal reasons, then that’s groovy, but if you can’t be bothered to endure the effort then why listen to those who tell you to do so? If someone cannot accept your body in its natural, untarnished state, and if they cannot accept you in a way that makes you feel happy and self-confident, then what’s the point? Besides, if your forearms are as hairy as a man’s then that’s a bloody good competition. Stay warm in the winter if you want to. Shave if you want to. Do whatever you want to, and whatever you think is best for you.

Having looked through each and every tweet posted from this account – all the while trying my hardest to refrain from tearing my hair out of my head and snapping my phone in half – I have decided that it is all bullshit, and should be whole-heartedly ignored/opposed. The thought that people in the world still think this way is extremely worrying, and thoughts like this can be unbelievably damaging. When will people realise that people can do whatever they want so long as no one is being harmed in the process? Not only are these ‘rules’ inappropriate, discriminate and degrading to all genders, many of them are simply rude. It seems to me that many forget how to go about being a decent human being. To anyone reading this: be nice.