After Jameela Jamil's column about giving up thinking, saying and listening to any negative comments about herself, many avid Jameela readers decided that they, too, would start allowing themselves a bit more mental TLC. I was one of them. I knew that refraining from any kind of self-criticism for a whole forty days would be difficult, but I did not expect it to be THAT hard.
However, the next time I walked past a mirror, my immediate response was "Oh for Christ's sake." Without even realising it, I was already straightening my school tie, fixing my hair and checking my eyeliner for smudges. When your reaction to your own reflection has been the same since any given point in your childhood, self-disgust is definitely involuntary. Even my seven year old sister sucks in her stomach and refuses point-blank to show her gappy teeth in photographs. Seven year old girls should not feel the need to improve their appearance at such a tender age, and yet recent studies conclude that from the age of six, girls in particular acquire a desire to lose weight and improve their appearance. My sister is beautiful, so it's difficult for me to digest that she has low-self esteem when she is so young and so supposedly naive.
In a matter of twenty minutes, I had already broken my Lenten promise (Sorry Jesus) - maybe I should have just stuck to the normal promises of giving up chocolate or junk food. But instead of abandoning my promise completely, I decided to adapt it. Rather than giving up my negative feelings towards myself immediately - a task many people know is impossible to complete overnight - I would just focus a bit more on things I like about myself. Instead of brushing compliments off and regarding them as lies, for once I'm listening, albeit rather awkwardly. I've never been one for accepting compliments so I never know how to respond to them whilst my compliment-er is standing in front of me, waiting for any sign of life.
From this moment onwards, remind yourself of one thing you like when you see your reflection. There's nothing wrong with a bit of vanity as long as it doesn't get in the way of relationships, so if you see something you like, embrace it!! (Yes, the two exclamation marks were definitely necessary) Stop poking and prodding parts of your body you'd rather be rid of and accept the fact that there are people who would kill for eyes/legs/arms/hair/*health* like yours, so why waste it?
I'm a bit of a hypocrite, as I'M the one who broke their Lenten promise, but I'm trying, and it's working, I promise. That's one promise I can keep.
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